Month: June 2017

“I will tell you another thing about them, too. Among them are monks who live in monasteries to serve their idols. And when they are named to a new office or rank – for instance if someone dies and his replacement need to be chosen – they are put to test in the following way. The girls who have been offered to the idols are brought in and made to touch the men who tend to the idols. They caress them in this place and that all over their bodies, embracing and kissing them and bringing them to the utmost pitch of earthly pleasure. If a man is fondled in this way by the girls I have told you about and his member does not in the least react but rather stays just as it was before the girls touched him, he passes muster and stays in the monastery. But if another man is fondled by the girls and his member reacts and grows erect, far from retaining him they drive him away at once, declaring that they cannot stand having a lecher among them.”

Wow! Who is writing this kind of exciting stuff? Well, it is Marco Polo himself and it is from the thirteenth century. The anecdotes he tells in his blog “Travels in the Land of Serpents and Pearls” from 1296 (I guessed the exact year) are spicier than what we have ever read on a travel blog or written in this blog.

“You should understand that these leather mats I am telling you about are used by the Muslims to sleep on; and how well you sleep on them.” 

But what can you learn from reading Marco’s works as a highly successful travel and lifestyle blogger? His stories are so much more exciting and interesting than any travel blog I have ever read. He is brave, open and does not shy from covering general customs to juicy details.

“So long as these girls remain virgins, their flesh is so form that no one can grasp them or pinch them anywhere on their bodies. For a penny they will let a man try to pinch them anywhere on their bodies. After they are married their flesh remains firm, but not as firm as before.”

No travel blog will impress by the sheer novelty of the places it depicts or the experiences that it recounts. The white beaches, the rainforest and the exotic food – none would tickle your genuine excitement. Only when the author crosses the valley of glanzbild and penetrates the pass of honesty, stories worth telling will arise. The beauty in any trip lay in the small moments when you stop – look around, and, remember that you live. 

“And as for debts, the following laws and procedures are observed among them. If a debtor who has been repeatedly asked by his creditor to pay a debt keeps on fobbing him off day after day with promises, and the creditor is able to get hold of him in such a way that he can draw a circle around him, the debtor cannot leave that circle until he has satisfied the creditor or given him a lawful and binding pledge that the debt will be discharged in full that very day”

Marco Polo wrote his Travels while being in Prison in Genoa. What I appreciate the most is the collection or stories, big and small, and the mat that he weaves. Travelling has always been a futile pull away from the routines that fast forward life. But a collection of some crazy stories is the best you can reach on a trip.

Still free from prison in Helsinki I can see how your faint smile is revealing your poor yellow teeth. And the sour smell of coffee, emanating from deep down in your nervous stomach.

 

Supermarkets are only markets here. Super may be awarded later, when the customer experience has been improved. 
 Based on three outlets reviewed our experience is as follows.

No bread of the healthy kind and touching the baguettes will bring soggy old cucumbers to mind. The cheese selection is very limited and the packs are tiny, which is very sad for us cheese lovers. The obvious benefit is that the sour smell of dairy consuming Finns is absent. Row after row of processed food in US inspired packaging brings the floating plastic viewed during the last snorkelling trip to mind. Plastic packaging must be eliminated asap.

Buying ice cream requires at least two revisits to the fridge to change to an un-melted pack while queueing.

Most customers take the wait very patiently, leaning over their carts supporting their chins in their fists or nibbling on their smarties.

Leaving the supermarket we witness two workers pushing and dragging a full cart of black bananas escorted by guard prepared for the worst with a walky-talky in hand closely pressed to the lips and prepared to call for backup.

Local fruit and vegetables are excellent. To tap the riches extensive research is required. Just last week we ate the bitterest wok ever prepared having not removed the seeds from a long green thing. Many exotic vegetables rot in the fridge as we fail to understand the culinary opportunities they present.

The music is loud. Noise from several sources make a dense and dirty carpet. For demonstration:

Credit cards get a beating here. They don’t like them here. Last night I heard crying from my wallet. It was the chip in my credit card complaining about his pains. The lady cashier looked so pretty and petite but surprised with her roughness.

My father would like it here. Groceries are packed in boxes. He likes to pack things in boxes. I like it too.

And last there is a science behind the cashiers. There are the blue basket lanes, big cart lanes, premium lanes, lanes for disabled and pregnant. Once we did the mistake of going to a big cart lane with a basket. We were told off. Slightly agitated M emptied the basket in a cart and appeared back at the cashier with a mean smile. The trick is we learned that you take a cart, place a basket in it and when closing in on the lanes choose the short one and dump the superfluous vessel.

Some economist would cry about opportunity cost here. If you have your smartphone with you it’s OK. 
 This post, including the photos, were produce in the queue.